I always have a bit of anxiety when I come back to my home town of Center Moriches … the reason being, is that the whole entire time I lived here, everything I did was to get me to California someday and start fulfilling my dreams of traveling the world! I would watch 90210 and plot my escape! … I wanted out of Long Island. I think those old feelings about getting out of here for so many years left me with an ingrained restlessness every time I came back. I decided this trip home, I would face this feeling and be done with it … and I would stay here until it was gone.
I started by trying to self talk myself out of the feeling and telling myself I was comfortable, “just stop feeling like this” … I did yoga, I ran … I also left here twice (once to NYC for 5 days and Florida for another 4) … nothing was working, I still felt restless. So, then I tried something new … I decided to go out each day and take pictures of anything that I thought was beautiful … I was only going to look for the beauty … and something magical happened … that’s all I saw … and magic, the feeling went away for the first time in 18 years.